But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
