Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
