I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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