good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
