well you can't waste a boner
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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