Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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