apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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