Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Well it worked

(330): View more from Ohio

Not the point

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(317): View more from Indiana

Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

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(850): View more from Florida

I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”

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