I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
