If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
