He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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