I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My feet surprised me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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