I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize