meet me or not, i'm out of control
Life is so much better after having sex.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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