even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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