if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
