we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
