i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
