Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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