I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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