i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
