hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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