some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So many bounce houses so little time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
