yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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