His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
