I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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