so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
