I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
