Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
