we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
