If that was your dad, he is hot
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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