before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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