shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize