I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I did not marry a roomba.
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