so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
