Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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