Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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