This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
