you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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