She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
