Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
