the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
