and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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