Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
