i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
