her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
