oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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