New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Terrible idea I love it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
