I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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