I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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