I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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