you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
