So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
