I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
