I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
