your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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