i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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