I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
