I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
