i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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