But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
