I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize